C H R I S T M A S

This Christmas is different from the past ones, more than just the decorations... It's about being a mother... I could understand better how much a sacrifice it was for God to send His only begotten Son. Sending is not the matter, but for the Son to go through all the torture on the way to the Cross and at the Cross.. is something no parent will ever want or accept to see their child go through.

Having Zara open my eyes to understand that we are God's adopted people. We were not the chosen tribe and was never given a place in the house, till Jesus paid the price to bring us Home.

Someone once commented to me, that no one will love a child whose not their own as much as their own. I think I must say that I totally disagree with it and I believe many mummies who are like me will say the same. Whether I have another child, it's up to God and His timing.. but with or without, Zara is still my very loved daughter. Nothing is going to change that fact, since the day she came into this family. I believe the same goes for us, as we enter into God's house. If you cannot accept that a mother can love their adopted child as her own, then you will never be able to accept the truth that God loves us as His own.

Decorations done by: ME!

I'm so constantly reminded of God's love for us, the price Jesus paid on the Cross.. and how much God loves Zara, to give her a future and a hope.. having all these planned for her, that she may be in His house, even before she is born.. and how much God loves us, to bring her into our lives.

Having a helper or not?

"Why do you need a helper?

Why can't you do EVERYTHING yourself?"

- Commonly asked

People who didn't know me well will wonder why did i have to had a helper since end last year. Do i really need a helper when it's just me and my husband? Am i not capable of handling the household chores?

Like many young couples these days, we battled with the thought of NOT having a helper. Not in terms of the need to get one because we cannot handle the housework, but more of the inconvenience of having another person in the house, privacy issues and etc. For 2 years, we have been handling our chores fine and there was no need for a helper.

Since 2012, my in-laws were diagnosed with cancer consecutively. Mother-in-law diagnosed with Ovarian cancer that spread very quickly affecting the Small intestines and soon the Liver, till she was without treatment from government hospitals. In 2013, Father-in-law diagnosed with Colon cancer stage 4 that had also spread around the area. Mid 2014, we were thankful to finally found a good helper who was patient to attend to their needs and took care of them while we were out at work. The battle ended last year, they fought a good fight. My Mother-in-law left us in Aug 2015 followed closely by my Father-in-law in Oct 2015. My in-laws loved our helper a lot, because of the love she had showered sincerely over them and caring for them from her heart. Hence, they promised that we will keep her as long as she will want to work in Singapore. Since then, we inherited our helper.

What has changed since we got a helper?
1) Sacrifice our small room, that was prepared for the baby, so now we got to do away our study room for the baby which is ok. Not too bad a change or too big a sacrifice.
2) Nice home cooked meals. Previously, it was harder because we always got to be at our in-law place so we hardly cook at home and those times we can be home slightly earlier after visiting them, we have chores to do, so we always end up eating out.
3) Privacy issues, definitely you can no longer live like there's no one else in the house.
4) Cafe sessions, hanging out with Ivan and sometimes with our friends. Honestly, this is only possible after we have our helper.
5) Quality time, to build relationship with friends and people important to us and having a bit of time to ourselves for hobbies and entertainment.

Now with Zara around, i am just thankful we have a helper. Not a need, but i am thankful. I get to spend time to play, interact, feed, change her diapers, hugging her... instead of washing endless diaper cloths, laundry, vacuuming the house, mopping the floor, cooking, washing toilet and many more. By the time i finish all these chores, i think i would have missed a huge part of Zara growing up.

I think it really depends on what you feel is important. Many mothers have to go back to work after their 4 months maternity. Thereafter, to have a helper vs to put your kid at infant care, to me it's almost like it's the same. Your baby is under the care of someone and the person is not you. So if by the time you get home from work and have all the chores before you, it reduces the time you have with your kid even more.

As parents, we are not just the provider. We are also the one who shower love on them so they know that they are loved. Protector, how do you protect your child if you are not there for them or don't spend time to know what they are going through in their daily lives. Teacher of life, they grow up observing the way we live, the way we speak and the way we bring them up, how we nurture and educate them will determine who they become. And of course as parents, we are the pastor, the one who will cover them with prayers and teaching them the way of the Lord.

These are what i feel is important and task that should not be passed on to someone else. Don't depend on teachers in school to teach your kids the way of life. Don't depend on Sunday school teachers to teach your kids the way of the Lord. Spend time with your children on what is important.

I am not pro having helper, neither am i against having one. I can only say that i am thankful i have one. Very very thankful. Does having a helper make me a less capable person who no longer know how to do chores? I don't think so. If in the event i no longer have my helper, then i will just do the chores, period.

Acts 6:2 

"It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God

(what's more important) and serve tables."

(I am) God's adopted people

During this journey, of course many 'what ifs' flooded our minds. what if they feel that they are not loved because they are adopted? What if they want to look for their birth parents? what if? what if? what if? and what if they ask about their birth? how should i reveal it to the child next time?

As all these questions came naturally to mind, i prayed and asked God how should i explain to Zara next time about adoption. And as i prayed, God revealed the best story to me and i teared.

I am not born a Jew, not God's own people by birth.
I am a Gentile.
I am God's adopted people.

Because of His love,
He paid a price (through Jesus Christ) to bring me back to Him.
He made it possible to have a relationship with Him.
He poured out His love over me and took me as His own.
For the first time, i could call Him "Abba Father"
He brought me into His house and gave me a family i did not have.
He promised me a future and placed eternity in my heart.
He prepared for me an inheritance i was not entitled to.
A brand new life.

Adoption has been like a taboo word in most culture and tradition. So is it wrong to want to adopt a child not for some noble reasons but simply because you really wanted a child? Personally, i think that if a couple feels that they have got love to give, why not? How blessed is the child who is given that opportunity to be loved!

We will pour out our love on Zara and teach her the way of the Lord, to the best we know how. Even if, we eventually have our own child, we will love them just the same. Like how God love us unconditionally and without partiality, we aim to do that to the best we know how.

How it started?

In 2014 March, Ivan and i went on a mission trip together to Philippines, Iloilo. This is the first time we signed up and served on missions together and the first time we are on medical missions. Very different from usual mission trips, this trip we had to do medical post at a few different locations, setting up BP stations, consultations and issuing of medication.

At one of the location where the slums are, we saw a very cute little girl and we both fall in love with her. I got to visit her house which was a very small wooden house the size of our usual HDB study room, just enough for a queen size bed, no walking space and the family got to squeeze together and sleep inside.

During that trip, we got to give out toys and stationery to the kids in those slum area and so we give her a cute teddy bear. :)

That was the first time the seed was sown in our hearts, but at that point, there were many things happening at home and we were not sure if we could commit and emotionally able to give full love and support to the child what she will need.

June 2016, i went Iloilo again for medical mission. This time, Ivan was not there with me. When i visited the same slum and saw this girl, she has grown up to be a beautiful little girl. She remembers me and will always come and find me.

After sending this photo to Ivan, he asked if the girl would like to come to Singapore. I would love to, but i think it's going to be a big decision for Ivan as the man in the house, so i told him to think and pray about it before we decide.

During this trip, i got to visit many more houses in the slum where the children are all living in cramped up places, lack of education due to the lack of financial ability to send them to school and some are left to fend for themselves etc. Human trafficking rate was also high. There, the desire to provide a family and a home for these children grew.

We started finding out how can we go about adopting a child from these places. After much research and speaking to different authorities, Singaporeans are not allowed to adopted from Philippines. It's some inter country regulations stuff. Just like we cannot adopt from Korea and Japan and some other countries as well.

After praying and talking through, i personally also spoke to my spiritual mentor who encouraged me to go for it and got me to link up with a couple who also have adopted. Speaking to another family who also have adopted, we were referred to attend an adoption workshop to find out more and to see if we are really prepared for it.

And so, as we research and go for the workshop etc the desire in us grew. It is NOT because our family is incomplete without a child and therefore we choose to adopt. I think Ivan and i are doing fine with children of our good friends running around and for us to dote on all the time. As a family, we are also happy the way we are and of course every family have their own problems or things we need to work out, but those are definitely NOT the reason why we decide to adopt.

Baby Zara was adopted and is now our daughter forever. As much as the joy baby Zara will bring to us, we pray that we will be godly parents to her and provide for her the future she would not have had. Bringing her up in the way and the fear of the Lord.

Gift from God

Some may ask: 'Is there a faith crisis?'
I would laugh at that question.

First of all, we believe that Zara is a gift from God :) going through many different seasons of life in the past 5 years, i think Zara is the best gift thus far.

Though she did not came about as many have expected and could only accept, I believe we have prayed and God has answered our prayer in His very own way.

I believe she is in the plan of God and brought to us through different angels.

Some may know that the waiting process was also not easy through the constant changing and uncertainty about the outcome of the baby. Somehow, we just know that God has reserved her for us.

Romans 8:28

All things works together for the good for those we love Him and are called according to His purpose

Falling in love with her at first sight and every single day after.

The official beginning!

This is my 2nd time meeting this little angel. Since our first meeting, we have fallen in love with her and have been thinking and missing her the few days of waiting.

After feeding her and changing her into some clean clothes, we were off on our journey home to a special beginning for both me and ivan, and for this little angel. From this day, we will name her ZARA YEO JING EN.

We pray that she will grow up in the way of the Lord, loving God, loving His people, loving His house and loving His presence. Grow up strong and healthy, serving and shining for His glory.

On the way home, she was peacefully sleeping in her car seat :)

And then when we got home, she eat, diaper change and sleep so peacefully.

And Ivan just couldn't get his eyes off her.

Honestly, the reality hasn't quite set in yet. The reality that i am now a mother. The reality that there is this tiny being that i need to take care of and take responsibility of. But i'm sure it will soon!

However, not having the advantage of the 9 months to prepare and to research and etc. 

I am very thankful for friends!

For Peihua who came in the afternoon to give advise, to accompany me 

and also to teach me how to bath her. 

For Jo, who came with a cute balloon for Zara, gave advise and prayed for Ivan, baby Zara and me.

For Weifang, Yang zheng and Isabelle who came after work and school to visit and have dinner with us.

For Kimmy and Kimmy's Mummy who came by just to shower her with their love.

<3 <3 <3

Why mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws always have problem?

Exactly whose problem is this? For centuries and all throughout history, this seems to be a problem that cannot seems to be solved. So... I am not going to be giving you a solution either.

However, being a daughter-in-law and a future mother, i tried to understand what will cause me to be upset with someone who i think is trying to spend her rest of her life with my son. So let's try to analysis this together!

First of all, any girl who finds a man whom she love wishes that he will develop into the man she always what him to be. She may even wish that the man will be somewhat close to how their father is like. At the same time the man wishes the woman will grow into the likeness of their mother, In that process, it is inevitable for the couple to grow into the soul-mate of one another.

Then what causes the mother-in-law to be upset? Every mother loves their son just the way they are, the way they brought them up to be. When the son develops in the relationship, he slowly changes from the mummy's boy into the man the woman of his life yearns for. Hence, it causes the mother to think that the girl is trying to change her son, in her (protective) perspective, she believes that it is against the will of her son.

Believe it or not, i think that one of the way to make things better is for the son to bridge the gap. If the son remains loving to the mother and shares with her what is going on and let the mother grow together with his changes, it will be easier for the mother to see and develop together with the son, to love this woman whom he loves. At the same time, build the relationship between them, spending time together.

Only when the man loves and honors his mother, will the woman of his life learn to love and honour his mother. Many times, the man avoids talking to the mother about this woman and gets all defensive. So, whose problem is this exactly?




If the man could be a good bridge, mothers and daughters-in-law can be the best of friends! To the mothers, instead of losing her son, she can gain and daughter. And to the woman, she will gain a family and it will be a heaven on earth rather than a living hell. :P

Thankful for the girls!

This group started in 2007 with just 2 girls... and we grew... and doubled... and multiplied!

From teenage life, where we were busy about BGR... Hanging out late into the nights (like 4am), 3-4 times a week... Complaining about school and the petty little things...

To watching one another get into serious relationships, sharing the joy and the tears...

To organising Hen's night parties, preparing for the big days.. Weddings... Baby showers... Housewarming.... and many more to come!!!

Photos includes our partners and babies!

*missing our Eileen Soon & Family (in Kuching)

Maybe some people are envious on how we could keep the friendship strong despite of the different faces of life... Honestly, being a all girls group, you will know that it hasn't been easy... We had our fair share of ups and downs, struggles, joy and unhappiness, disagreements and disappointments...

Could we still be like how we were 8 years ago? meeting up 3-4 times a week till wee hours of the night? certainly NOT! Sometimes we hardly even meet up more than 7 times a year...

As i grow older... i'm not petty about whose right or wrong, who should do more or less, who deserve this or that... these all doesn't matter anymore.. I'm just thankful...

Very thankful for friends who stick it through good times and bad times... through different seasons and faces of life... through increase of commitments and expenses... still give their time and gifts (food and more food) and LOVE for one another!

Only friends can do crazy stuff together and yet laugh about it! I love you girls! 2015 will be a year where we will see each other a lot more!!! with the babies, new homes and weddings coming our way!

Kingdom of heaven (Part 1)

Was contemplating about this kingdom of heaven and was reminded of a few interesting aspects of it.

The first thing that I was reminded of is regarding money and wealth.
The world sees money as a very important thing in their lives and some even value it more than their own life itself.
I saw how people choose the establish relationships and friendships with people who are high flyers and so-called high key people, the rich; the wealthy; the famous; the well-known... And would very much want to be associated with them.

Yet, Jesus came and associated himself with the unloved, unworthy, unpopular.. To me, this is the kingdom of heaven - to love the unloved, to reach the unreached, to give a value to those who feel that they are not worthy, to bring those who are outcasted close.. And not be afraid to be associated with them. We are in the world, but not of the world.

The bible says, we cannot serve 2 masters, God and mammon, for if we love one, we will hate the other.

The world sets itself on a mode to get and store up for itself the riches of this world. But I was reminded of something I learnt back in 2006 when I was attending SOT. One teaching that impacted me till today.

When you need money, don't sell your things, give them away. For it's more blessed to give than to receive.

Many many many times in the bible, it was shown that as the man or woman of God put their trust in God, pouring out the exact thing they needed most on the altar, God will take care of their needs!
- the widow who is left with a jar of oil
- Elijah who poured water on the offering in the midst of a drought
- and many more

Yes, money is essential for survival in this world where everything is dollar and cents. I'm not saying that we should be on a extreme of not working and just trusting God to provide, because the bible says that, he who does not labor shall not eat.

But what I am saying is, are you motivated by money? Is money having it's stronghold in your life? If just like the rich young ruler, God is to call you to sell and give away all your possessions, properties, shares etc and follow Him, will you so gladly do it or will you be grieved for your possessions are much?

Tribute to Dashie

Dashie joined us on the 11th December 2013.
She had brought much joy into my life and also love into my marriage.
She was so gentle and joyful, she is always dashing from one end to another.
She was so cute and adorable, it hurt me so bad when i had to let her go...
On the faithful day 17th March 2014.
Though it had only been a short 3 months, we really loved her a lot!

These are our memories of her from beginning...
Till the very end...
LOVE DASHIE....

You will be my first and my very last rabbit..
I will always remember you and no rabbit can replace you in my life..

Love Nest

Have a preview of my beautiful love nest!

The Black and white~

The cosy study~

The Victorian closet~

The kiddies~

Photographer: ME!

My home sweet home~

My very own, with my only love~

Girls Party!

Girls Party means...

Cakes!

Muffins!

Sweet stuff!

Cookies!

English Tea!

and of course, heart to heart sharing! <3 <3 <3

Photoshoot 2013!

Just had a photoshoot with a group of fun-loving people. Being in the same group for at least 3 years now for most of us, the 3 years have had it's ups and downs. Times where to laugh together, times where we hug and cried together.

This is the first time we are actually having a proper photoshoot together at Singapore, Clarke Quay! Video is a playback of our past, but photos are still memories stored.

Whole group photos!

Group shot with the girls!

 

Fashion shots!

Fun shot!

Photographer: Ivan Yeo (My Husband!) 

 Trust me, they are NOT doing what they look like they are doing! Just for laugh! ;)

Hopefully i have time to get the rest of the photos taken that day posted! :x