C H R I S T M A S

This Christmas is different from the past ones, more than just the decorations... It's about being a mother... I could understand better how much a sacrifice it was for God to send His only begotten Son. Sending is not the matter, but for the Son to go through all the torture on the way to the Cross and at the Cross.. is something no parent will ever want or accept to see their child go through.

Having Zara open my eyes to understand that we are God's adopted people. We were not the chosen tribe and was never given a place in the house, till Jesus paid the price to bring us Home.

Someone once commented to me, that no one will love a child whose not their own as much as their own. I think I must say that I totally disagree with it and I believe many mummies who are like me will say the same. Whether I have another child, it's up to God and His timing.. but with or without, Zara is still my very loved daughter. Nothing is going to change that fact, since the day she came into this family. I believe the same goes for us, as we enter into God's house. If you cannot accept that a mother can love their adopted child as her own, then you will never be able to accept the truth that God loves us as His own.

Decorations done by: ME!

I'm so constantly reminded of God's love for us, the price Jesus paid on the Cross.. and how much God loves Zara, to give her a future and a hope.. having all these planned for her, that she may be in His house, even before she is born.. and how much God loves us, to bring her into our lives.

(I am) God's adopted people

During this journey, of course many 'what ifs' flooded our minds. what if they feel that they are not loved because they are adopted? What if they want to look for their birth parents? what if? what if? what if? and what if they ask about their birth? how should i reveal it to the child next time?

As all these questions came naturally to mind, i prayed and asked God how should i explain to Zara next time about adoption. And as i prayed, God revealed the best story to me and i teared.

I am not born a Jew, not God's own people by birth.
I am a Gentile.
I am God's adopted people.

Because of His love,
He paid a price (through Jesus Christ) to bring me back to Him.
He made it possible to have a relationship with Him.
He poured out His love over me and took me as His own.
For the first time, i could call Him "Abba Father"
He brought me into His house and gave me a family i did not have.
He promised me a future and placed eternity in my heart.
He prepared for me an inheritance i was not entitled to.
A brand new life.

Adoption has been like a taboo word in most culture and tradition. So is it wrong to want to adopt a child not for some noble reasons but simply because you really wanted a child? Personally, i think that if a couple feels that they have got love to give, why not? How blessed is the child who is given that opportunity to be loved!

We will pour out our love on Zara and teach her the way of the Lord, to the best we know how. Even if, we eventually have our own child, we will love them just the same. Like how God love us unconditionally and without partiality, we aim to do that to the best we know how.

How it started?

In 2014 March, Ivan and i went on a mission trip together to Philippines, Iloilo. This is the first time we signed up and served on missions together and the first time we are on medical missions. Very different from usual mission trips, this trip we had to do medical post at a few different locations, setting up BP stations, consultations and issuing of medication.

At one of the location where the slums are, we saw a very cute little girl and we both fall in love with her. I got to visit her house which was a very small wooden house the size of our usual HDB study room, just enough for a queen size bed, no walking space and the family got to squeeze together and sleep inside.

During that trip, we got to give out toys and stationery to the kids in those slum area and so we give her a cute teddy bear. :)

That was the first time the seed was sown in our hearts, but at that point, there were many things happening at home and we were not sure if we could commit and emotionally able to give full love and support to the child what she will need.

June 2016, i went Iloilo again for medical mission. This time, Ivan was not there with me. When i visited the same slum and saw this girl, she has grown up to be a beautiful little girl. She remembers me and will always come and find me.

After sending this photo to Ivan, he asked if the girl would like to come to Singapore. I would love to, but i think it's going to be a big decision for Ivan as the man in the house, so i told him to think and pray about it before we decide.

During this trip, i got to visit many more houses in the slum where the children are all living in cramped up places, lack of education due to the lack of financial ability to send them to school and some are left to fend for themselves etc. Human trafficking rate was also high. There, the desire to provide a family and a home for these children grew.

We started finding out how can we go about adopting a child from these places. After much research and speaking to different authorities, Singaporeans are not allowed to adopted from Philippines. It's some inter country regulations stuff. Just like we cannot adopt from Korea and Japan and some other countries as well.

After praying and talking through, i personally also spoke to my spiritual mentor who encouraged me to go for it and got me to link up with a couple who also have adopted. Speaking to another family who also have adopted, we were referred to attend an adoption workshop to find out more and to see if we are really prepared for it.

And so, as we research and go for the workshop etc the desire in us grew. It is NOT because our family is incomplete without a child and therefore we choose to adopt. I think Ivan and i are doing fine with children of our good friends running around and for us to dote on all the time. As a family, we are also happy the way we are and of course every family have their own problems or things we need to work out, but those are definitely NOT the reason why we decide to adopt.

Baby Zara was adopted and is now our daughter forever. As much as the joy baby Zara will bring to us, we pray that we will be godly parents to her and provide for her the future she would not have had. Bringing her up in the way and the fear of the Lord.

The truth behind the LIFE we all desire to have

It's been a long while since i posted, as many things happened at home... And it just sets me thinking about LIFE, my life...

The different kinds of people in the corporate world are:

#1 Sole bread winners: Some people who hard all their lives to put food on the table, to make ends meet. They cannot stop because everything is depended on the works of their hands. They are very hardworking people who through honest means do what they could and appreciates the stability of there jobs.

#2 Ladder climber: They climb from ladder to ladder, trying to achieve more in life. They are driven to promotions and outdoing others. Some by righteous means, others by stepping on others to reach another step higher.

#3 Bridge builder: You might have heard this before, 'it's not what you know but who you know'. to a certain extend it is true, but some people make use of the relationships they built to their advantages and benefits. They build relationship with a purpose in mind.

#4 Fu er dai: This is a commonly used terms for people who are born with silver spoon. Some are born in gold spoons. They do not need to do much and have everything they want. What they have is more than what they can spend.

#5 Dreamers: Everyone dreams to do something they like and they want in life. Dreaming of the better life and the possibilities into the future. They may come out with many great items but never step out of where they are.

#6 Dream chasers: People who dream and give up all that they had, the comfort and security to chase those dreams. Do they get the kind of life they dream of?

It's easy for people who sits behind a desk and get money coming into their account every month, with or without a lot of work to do, to complain about work; pay too little and what is required of them... Isn't that why they are receiving a pay cheque in the first place?

Many people say that they envy me, that now that i am a boss, i get to go around doing whatever i want. Not having to work as and when i want. No stress and no worries. No need to see the face of a boss, and how they desire the kind of life i have...

Speaking from experience, starting a shop had been the hardest thing in my life by far. The amount of money, effort and hard work i put into this is far greater than you can think or imagine. The amount of stress i go through and how i have not drawn a salary but have to worry about the salary of my staff. The sweat and the tears involved. If today you want to be a dream chaser, I would encourage you to step out and live your dreams! But first, count the cost. Know how much are you willing to put into making this dream a reality and how far are you willing to go... how long are you willing to go without getting paid till everything stabilises.

Because, only when your dream can last the distance, you can reach #7.

#7 Bai shou qi jia: These are the minority of people who started out without anything. They are not people who are born with silver or gold spoon. They may even be from a humble family background (like me), who live out their dreams. What brought them there was not good luck, but perseverance and hard work. Fighting through the good times and the bad. Not giving up on what they have set their hearts to do.

Some day, we may wake up comparing the advantages and disadvantages of being born with silver spoon and feel that life is unfair. But at the end of the day, what really matters is not where we started from, but where we are heading to and how we are getting there.

I forgot when was the last time i shop and bought something i like for myself, because of the amount of things that i need to be concern about. And i guess, i am last on my own list. I'm praying that i can persevere though and that God will provide me with the strength, ability, productivity and provision to hang on till the promises come to pass!