C H R I S T M A S

This Christmas is different from the past ones, more than just the decorations... It's about being a mother... I could understand better how much a sacrifice it was for God to send His only begotten Son. Sending is not the matter, but for the Son to go through all the torture on the way to the Cross and at the Cross.. is something no parent will ever want or accept to see their child go through.

Having Zara open my eyes to understand that we are God's adopted people. We were not the chosen tribe and was never given a place in the house, till Jesus paid the price to bring us Home.

Someone once commented to me, that no one will love a child whose not their own as much as their own. I think I must say that I totally disagree with it and I believe many mummies who are like me will say the same. Whether I have another child, it's up to God and His timing.. but with or without, Zara is still my very loved daughter. Nothing is going to change that fact, since the day she came into this family. I believe the same goes for us, as we enter into God's house. If you cannot accept that a mother can love their adopted child as her own, then you will never be able to accept the truth that God loves us as His own.

Decorations done by: ME!

I'm so constantly reminded of God's love for us, the price Jesus paid on the Cross.. and how much God loves Zara, to give her a future and a hope.. having all these planned for her, that she may be in His house, even before she is born.. and how much God loves us, to bring her into our lives.

(I am) God's adopted people

During this journey, of course many 'what ifs' flooded our minds. what if they feel that they are not loved because they are adopted? What if they want to look for their birth parents? what if? what if? what if? and what if they ask about their birth? how should i reveal it to the child next time?

As all these questions came naturally to mind, i prayed and asked God how should i explain to Zara next time about adoption. And as i prayed, God revealed the best story to me and i teared.

I am not born a Jew, not God's own people by birth.
I am a Gentile.
I am God's adopted people.

Because of His love,
He paid a price (through Jesus Christ) to bring me back to Him.
He made it possible to have a relationship with Him.
He poured out His love over me and took me as His own.
For the first time, i could call Him "Abba Father"
He brought me into His house and gave me a family i did not have.
He promised me a future and placed eternity in my heart.
He prepared for me an inheritance i was not entitled to.
A brand new life.

Adoption has been like a taboo word in most culture and tradition. So is it wrong to want to adopt a child not for some noble reasons but simply because you really wanted a child? Personally, i think that if a couple feels that they have got love to give, why not? How blessed is the child who is given that opportunity to be loved!

We will pour out our love on Zara and teach her the way of the Lord, to the best we know how. Even if, we eventually have our own child, we will love them just the same. Like how God love us unconditionally and without partiality, we aim to do that to the best we know how.

55-years to a miracle

Based on a true story.

55 years ago, a daughter was born to the family. However, on the 3 days she was given away to an adopting parents. In those times, life in Singapore was not really easy. After world war 2, Singapore took awhile to rebuild. Those were the years where Singapore, from Japanese occupation became under British colonial and then to become part of Malaysia... And eventually come out independent in the year 1965.

She was the 3rd child of the family, shortly after a brother who is slightly a year older than her. Having a hard life, the decision was made with the intention that she will live a better life with her adopted parents. However, things did not turn out the way her mother expected. At least not exactly how she thought it would be.

After giving her away, the mother regretted and secretly went to visit her baby girl. Some times she would even bring her older children along to find her and bring gifts, hoping to see her. But to no avail at all, as the adopting parents refused to allow them to meet and warned her to stop visiting.

This girl grew up with step-siblings who looked down on her and abused her, knowing that she is an adopted child. She would wake up early morning to do the laundry and all the necessary housework, going to the market etc before going to school. And eventually into her working years and her dating years and then to marriage. Things did not turn any better still. Instead the bias-ness of the adopted mother towards her and her step-siblings got even more obvious and direct.

Things only took a slight turn at her 40th year, where on a work trip, she met Jesus and was healed of her sinus that was with her since birth. There she give her life to Christ. After the trip, she was not sure if her adopted mother would allow her to attend church, as they had been very staunched Buddhist. But God did a work in her heart and the adopted mother allowed her to attend church.

Praying for the salvation of the adopted mother, she took got saved after a few years of constant loving her despite of how she would treat her and the some times hurtful words that she would use against her.

All the way into the late years of the adopted mother, she stayed by her side, working hard to pay off all her medical bills and expenses all by herself. She did not complain. There are nights where she would cry herself to sleep, feeling all alone in this and hoping for siblings who would stand by her.

At her 47th year, her adopted mother went to be with The Lord. Being faithful to God, she brought her children up in the way of The Lord, to the best of her abilities. 

2 months back, after a service in church, a church sister prophesied that a miracle will happen in her life. Being child-like in her faith, she believed that a miracle will happen! On her way home with another church sister, they took the MRT. Halfway though the journey, she notied someone smiling at her. Feeling uneasy about strangers smiling at her since young, she turned her back away.

At her station when she got off the train, the same lady ran up to her! And said,

"Do you use to live at ********?"

So she replied, "why do you ask?"

The lady then said that "I'm looking for my lost 2nd sister, who was given away"

Still feeling unsure, she asked for the name of the biological mother of this lady, because all she knew about her biological family is only the name of her mother.

When the lady mentioned the name of her mother, she knew that the name is the name of her biological mother. With great joy, they sat down and chatted!

So still confused at the boldness of this lady, her sister. She asked how is she so sure that she is her sister, and that she would approach her?

This lady said that she looked like their eldest sister and the way she talk looks like her younger sister. She has been looking for her sister all her life and she know that she cannot miss this opportunity! Hence, the boldness to approach her. There's a total of 4 sisters, including the girl. And they have another 4 brothers.

For all her life, she did not know about her biological mother's visits when she was young. Growing up feeling rejected and unwanted, now she is restored to a very big family of 8 siblings! The following day, she met up with all the sisters and the following week with all the siblings! They checked the birth cert and etc and confirmed that they are biological siblings! Indeed, it is a miracle! There are many people who tried looking for their biological family through medias and various methods but to no avail, and yet God did such a great miracle! Because of her simple faith in the spoken word!

After reuniting, the siblings told her that all the days of the life of her biological mother, she had been regretting that she gave her away and told all of them that they had a lost sister who was given away. And told them to look for her and don't stop looking for her! Unfortunately, her biological mother passed away shortly after she moved out of the old residential place. Due to the lost of contact or knowing her whereabouts after the move, as she totally had no idea where her daughter had moved to, she went into depression and passed away shortly.

Hearing all these, brought tears to her eyes, knowing that the mother had never stopped looking for her. The love of the biological parents and siblings came rushing into her heart and God did a healing work. Though it took 55 years, it's a miracle as great as the pain she had went through. God heard all her silent tears and crying out for siblings who would standby her. He did not give her 1, not 2... But a total of 7 siblings! And her siblings loved her so much and would stood by her anytime! Her usual uneventful weekends all her life, suddenly are filled with much family events and family time with her siblings!

I know this is true because it's my family story... God is a miracle working God, if you will only believe!

Kingdom of heaven (Part 1)

Was contemplating about this kingdom of heaven and was reminded of a few interesting aspects of it.

The first thing that I was reminded of is regarding money and wealth.
The world sees money as a very important thing in their lives and some even value it more than their own life itself.
I saw how people choose the establish relationships and friendships with people who are high flyers and so-called high key people, the rich; the wealthy; the famous; the well-known... And would very much want to be associated with them.

Yet, Jesus came and associated himself with the unloved, unworthy, unpopular.. To me, this is the kingdom of heaven - to love the unloved, to reach the unreached, to give a value to those who feel that they are not worthy, to bring those who are outcasted close.. And not be afraid to be associated with them. We are in the world, but not of the world.

The bible says, we cannot serve 2 masters, God and mammon, for if we love one, we will hate the other.

The world sets itself on a mode to get and store up for itself the riches of this world. But I was reminded of something I learnt back in 2006 when I was attending SOT. One teaching that impacted me till today.

When you need money, don't sell your things, give them away. For it's more blessed to give than to receive.

Many many many times in the bible, it was shown that as the man or woman of God put their trust in God, pouring out the exact thing they needed most on the altar, God will take care of their needs!
- the widow who is left with a jar of oil
- Elijah who poured water on the offering in the midst of a drought
- and many more

Yes, money is essential for survival in this world where everything is dollar and cents. I'm not saying that we should be on a extreme of not working and just trusting God to provide, because the bible says that, he who does not labor shall not eat.

But what I am saying is, are you motivated by money? Is money having it's stronghold in your life? If just like the rich young ruler, God is to call you to sell and give away all your possessions, properties, shares etc and follow Him, will you so gladly do it or will you be grieved for your possessions are much?

Choosing the path

With the most recent thing i read, i think i felt even more than how i felt about the haze PSI that went up to 401. I guess there is no right or wrong, just different perspective of issues. When people are, there will always be different views and understanding of things i guess.

What i just read did not cause me to feel waived or doubt the church at all. In fact, it cause me to feel like i probably could understand what he is going through. I was on that path a short while back.

In life, there are always many paths. The broad way and the narrow way. Usually it is harder to stay on the right path than to go astray. Situations may happen, but it is how we response that God is looking at. People may be in the same situation but sitting for a different test.

The truth is for us to choose to love and show mercy despite of the shortcomings, not for us to judge. Christ did not come to judge but to save those who are lost. 

We are saved by love, for love.

*Praying that the love of God will move and soften the hardened heart*