I am her's and she is mine!

2 Days back, we had our first Baby Shower for the relatives. As usual, relatives will have a lot of 'DOs & DON'Ts' for you. But the best advise i heard that day is " you are the parent so you decide what do and what don't".

Some relatives were 'concerned' that family's friends are asking how come they did not see me pregnant and blah blah blah. They told me that i should not let people know that she is adopted, and maybe i should not post her photos so much on social media to avoid questioning and just 'lay low'.

Yes! I did not disappear from my friends and family members; hide from the world; delete my social media for 9-10 months so that people will think that maybe i was pregnant and they did not know, and i will definitely not stop posting photos of Zara or 'lay low'.. 

Because i will not for a moment be ashamed or embarrass of her!

And not for a moment will i ever want her to feel that we are not proud of her!

She is not an accident. 

She is beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of God.

She is chosen, an elect, destined to be placed into this family and into His house (City Harvest Church)

She is now mine and i am her's

She will have everything i had planned and reserved for my child

Nothing less.

Everyday i am reminded of God's mercy and His goodness in her.

I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine!

God in Repetitions

It's been officially 10 years since i graduated from CHBTC (now known as SOT). Most graduates will tell you that they may have forgotten 95% of the theological teachings, sermons, notes and etc.  But the thing they will never forget are the encounters.

However, on my way home from AZ Leaders thanksgiving last night, i was reminded of a sermon that impacted me during my bible school days. I remember it was a Swedish pastor. He started the sermon with the following illustration:

"One day, a pastor of the seminary entered and started to preach to the congregation.

It was a really good and impactful sermon and the people are blessed. 

On the 2nd day, the pastor returned to the class and started preaching again.

After awhile, the people noticed that it was the exact sermon he shared the day before.

Hoping that there might be a twist somewhere, they sat through the whole sermon but in the end, 

it was the exact same sermon! 

3rd day, the pastor came and started preaching again, the same sermon. 

This time, the people were confused and frustrated. 

They reasoned among themselves and was wondering if someone should go and tell the pastor that he had already preach this sermon twice and now the third time. But no one had the courage. 

On the 4th day, as they hear the sermon for the 4th time, many begin to be distracted during the sermon, minds drifting away, falling asleep and some got bitter and left half way. 

Knowing what was on their minds, the pastor continue preaching, the exact same sermon. 

Now the week has come to an end, it was the 5th day. Some did not turn up that day, some came feeling bored and totally lost focus and some were left confused but still kept coming. And the pastor said this, "God is often found in repetition. Most of us hope that our everyday walk with God will be filled with new revelations everyday, signs and wonders, the fire, the wind, the storm... But yet, the Lord is in the still small voice. If we cannot go through the repetitions, we will be disappointed."

If we get tire of repetitions, the bible itself is repetition.. Being in church for so long, we have the danger of 'hearing that sermon before many times'; 'we know what pastor is going to share'; 'we know the revelation of that certain verse or passage already'... Like some of the people in the illustration, we start to loss focus, minds drifted away..

But let us be reminded that God is often found in repetitions. Most of the time, we encounter God not only in mega events or activities, but in the repetition of our daily routines. Our prayer time everyday is often not filled with hair standing, open visions, seeing angels moments.. but simply reading the bible and seeking the face of God daily. 

Just for laugh,

Do you know your PROVIDER?

What is more important than silver and gold?

Been thinking for very long... What to write and when to write...
Unlike younger days where you can speak and share all your feelings and thoughts on your personal blog, blogs had since never been something personal these days.

Something has been on my mind...
What is more important than silver and gold?
Some people will say that there are many things that are more important!
Some will say that, we are living in a world where money may not be everything, but we cannot do anything without money. Both sentence are true, in terms of things that money can buy.

I consider health and extending of life spend something money 'can buy'. Not that we can buy health but i have seen people sick... people healed... people's life extended during to treatments (That costs more than common people can afford)... people died... some because it's time.. but some because they were never given the chance to go through any treatment due to the high medical cost. This is vanity of vanities.

I consider justice is something that 'can be bought'. This scale is often connected with law and justice. The statue of justice is the judge having a scale on one hand and a sword on the other, with their eyes blindfolded. It is suppose to symbolise justice and impartiality. But i have seen people going to jail.. some for crimes they committed.. some for a case they cannot afford to fight due to lawyer fees.. I have seen people go free.. despite of the crime they committed, because they could get for themselves the best lawyer and creates the best evidence. This is also vanity of vanities.

Living in a world where almost everything can be purchased with money, what else is important? To me, one word, VALUES.

ONE OF MY VALUES

When i first came to City Harvest Church, someone taught me this. Back then, i was only in Secondary 2 when it happened. It was the time where my school was making us sell coupons. The little booklet with coupons, $10 per piece and $100 per booklet. Everyone is to sell 1 or more booklets, at least for my school, it was compulsory.

That year, i lost the booklet that i was suppose to sell. I did sold a few of the coupons but there is no proof to proof that i only sold a few instead of the whole booklet and trying to keep the money or something. I was very very stress. I didn't know what to do. Back then, i spoke to someone more senior in the Cell Group and he told me this.

"The difference about being a Christian is not that we will never make mistakes. It's when we do, we admit it and bear the responsibility that comes with it. For the truth shall set us free." 

That word gave me courage and becomes one of the strongest value in my life. I admitted to the teachers that i lost the booklet and made a police report for it. And i know that even if i had to pay $100 for misplacing the booklet, i learn to take responsibility of my own actions.

Till this day, i am still constantly reminded of this person because though it was just a small incident, he placed a fundamental foundation in my life. Admitting your mistakes and bearing the consequences that comes with it may not be a easy thing. Maybe you are reading and think that my lesson was only $100 and its nothing compared to yours. But $100 means ALOT to me as a secondary 2 student back in the 1990s when chicken rice or noodles will only cost $2. A complete meal with a drinks will cost me less than $3.

UOB ADS

Recently there was a UOB advertisement on TV. Where the father told the son specifically not to touch a particular vase because it is very very expensive. One day the father came home and noticed that the son had touched the vase. Though the son did not break it, only simply touched the vase to take a look at it. The father called the son into the room and asked if he touched the vase, then he broke the vase in front of the son. Because there's nothing more valuable then our values. In that sense, was trust.

But i think everything comes down to our values in life. How we deal with circumstances.. How we learn to take up responsibility of things we did or failed to do.. We all make mistake from time to time.. Some small, some really big... but what is more valuable than silver or gold... Reputation? with man or with God?

Another thing i learnt then was, God is more concern with our character than our comfort.

Build it like your own!

As the date draws nearer for the collection of my keys, great anticipation builds up and I can't wait to move my things into the bigger space and also get the best things for my house! The last letter stated Aug/Sept and now that Aug is over... September it shall be! :)

But before all these, we had a great time planning together how we can give and build the house of God in this upcoming building fund! This is my 11th building fund and it will be the first time we are pledging together as a couple! :D

Year after year, I looked forward to the building fund because it is really not about building buildings but building lives! Since my first building fund in 2001, I have seen how relationships have developed, lives have been built and transformed. Personally, since joining City Harvest Church in year 2000, my own life has been greatly impacted and changed, I would not be where I am now if without God and then people He placed in my life. I believe that it is God who placed me here and He bless me so that I can be a blessing!

Suntec is not just a piece of land or a place, it is our promise land. Yes, there are giants in the land and will require a fight, but if God has given us this vision, He will give us the provision! This is not out of the will or desires of a man but a promise of God. I was there when we prayed, we fasted, we confessed and we visualized, before this vision was birthed. "This is a place in the marketplace, for the marketplace, to serve the marketplace!" Not for glamor or for fame, but simply to serve the marketplace, to build lives and most importantly to build God a house. I remembered how I had this phrase printed on A3, with an image of a stadium, pasted on the wall of my room so that I can visualize, pray and confess together with the Church every single day till this vision was birthed!

Just like how anyone will be excited for their new house and want to get the best for their homes, I think God's house deserves the BEST! Unequal amount, but equal sacrifice! Build it like it is your own! This is my church, this is my house, this is my life!

News and updates

This is written from my point of view.

Standing outside the court hall at 6am, on the 15th May, the first day of the trial. I saw how many people coming together to show the support of the church and at the same time how some people who are against us or even for the purpose of "making news", writes and report things that are not true or made up.

Not being able to make it into the morning session, i queued outside patiently for the afternoon session at 9am. I witness how a specific reporter from ST sat among us and try to 'drag for news'. I took photos of her and even know her name but decided that i shall not name her here. However the next instant, she reported a news that was published on Straits Times online at 11.01a.m. stating somethings that prosecutors said. This made me feel kinda curious.

Questions flooded my mind:
- Isn't the use of phones or recording devices banded in the court hall? Because she was also constantly texting with her other partner, whom i also have a photo of but decided not to post it here, who is in the court hearing throughtout.
- How then did she get the information of what is going on in the court when she is sitting right in front of me? Through the text that was sent by her partner or is it just made up stories?
- Is then the most trusted news media in singapore making up news just so that they will be the first to report on news?
- Are they facts reporters or just tale bearers?

These questions are not just regarding this case, but Straits Times as a trusted social media of Singapore. If they are just making up stories so that they beat the other media, then can we trust what they say anymore? Are the writers writing out of their own bias point of view? And reports bitterly in this case, just because she was thrown out of the first session due to not having a media pass? :x

However, i am not so affected after all, as i have no longer trust straits times for the most accurate news. If your want the latest, most trusted news of this case, you can refer to Citynews as the professional writers write facts and truth about the details that happened in the court room after every session (instead of just making wild guesses).

I believe!

We are going to be the biggest news in the next few days, City Harvest Church, CHC.

But in view of all and what is going to be ahead, i can only say that i believed, i believe and i'm still believing!

I was here, 13 years ago when we were still meeting at the old hollywood theatre. Back then, we were less than 8,000 people. i saw how the church love and contributed to the community. In the days of my youth, i was taught that what makes a christian from the rest is that when we make a mistake, we do not push and we do not blame, we take responsibility and we grow. Is it possible to never ever make a mistake? Let he who has no sin cast the first stone.

It was also then where we started the project 'Church without walls' and going beyond the 4 walls of the church, we entered the lives of many who are I.D and disabled. Giving them warm and a brand new meaning to life. Giving their family members a new hope and emotional support. Many lives were touched, and changed.

2003, we started the crossover project. Is it just the decision of the leaders or our senior pastor, kong hee? i would say, it is our project. This is our church, this is our crossover, this is our project and this is our decision. Just like many other projects whether is it to build schools or orphanages, the purpose was to touch and change lives.

In this journey, i went for quite a couple of the trips and each time, it move me to tears standing there in the midst of the concert or event, see the many lives changed. The smile, the joy and the hope that was put on the people's face once again.

Though much will be said on the first round of the court hearing starting this coming wednesday, 15th May. I will say, i trust in the integrity of our leaders that nothing was used for personal gains and no money was 'lost' as mentioned by the media.

I believed, i believe and i'm still believing!

Hand in hand!

Photographer: Me!

The best way to start the year 2013 is, hand in hand with love, joy and peace in the family! Nothing beats having a place where you call home. A place where you know you will be accepted and loved just the way you are. A refuge from storm and a fortress against the enemies. Apart from my family, the next place i call home is, City Harvest Church (CHC), a place where i grew up and a place where i found my home. =)

Busy with what matters!

Sorry have been really really busy since i got back from my trip from Surabaya! It was the trip of the year for me!

Compared to all my other trips to various places, this is really the best trip in many years. This is not a shopping trip for me, it is a mission trip. It has been almost 2-3 years since i last went on a mission trip before this.

Busy but yet fulfilling. This trip reminded me alot of the things that are important to me and therefore since i was back, i have been really busy with them.

1) The top priority was my commitment to God again
Have been on a cruising season for awhile and it is time to get back on my feet! Have been going from meetings to meetings but yet only feeling even more energetic than ever! Cell group meetings, prayer meetings, leaders meetings, services to services... City Harvest Church, My Church My Life!

2) Friends
i am not a person who lives in my own fish tank behind this computer screen. I believe that God put everyone into our lives for a purpose even if they are just 'passing by' a season of our lives. From these trip, i got to know 20 awesome people and though some of them i met never get to meet again, the 2 weeks with them was the most well spent ever. even though i maybe very 'saving up' but yet when it comes to them, i know i will spend and i will sow into their lives. Thank God for 'Whatsapp' that still allows us to stay connected even though many of them are back in their own countries at the extreme parts of this world. I know that someday, we will meet again!

So happy that one of them are visiting next weekend! it's gonna be a girls night out!

3) Something greater
i don't know how to explain this and neither am i there yet. But i know God had began this work already and it will be done according to His time!

Was reminded of the 70, 12, and 3... something i always say last time. who is the 3 in my life and who are the 12? i think i know who are my 2 but can't really identify the 3rd one yet. At the same time, i wish i am one of the 3 that will be able to be close too.

Everything is made beautiful in His time!

A Word of Encouragement!

This is a word for my church, City Harvest Church, and all those who are involved. I believe that the path of the righteous shall shine ever brighter!

Psalm 27

An Exuberant Declaration of Faith

A Psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
² When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
³ Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I have desired of the Lord,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord,
And to inquire in His temple.
⁵ For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

⁶ And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

⁷ Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
⁸ When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
⁹ Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.
¹⁰ When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.

¹¹ Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.
¹² Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
¹³ I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Dress to Honor, Not to Impress

Living in an environment where people don't really dress up, they always thinks that people who dress up are out to impress or to show off the things they have. But for me, I only learnt to dress up to honor.

From young, I am just like anyone else. Dressing the same way regardless of where you are going. Neighborhood, orchard road, nearby shopping mall, it's all the same. Till I met Someone who made me want to dress up for!

Photographer: Ivan Yeo (Husband)

I met Him when I was 14, one day outside the old Hollywood Theatre at Paya Lebar. Since then, I will only dress up every Saturday when I go to church, City Harvest Church. Not for anyone to see, but for God to see. Not to impress Him, but as a form of honor to Him. I want to look my best, beacause I love Him. These carries on through my teenage years and now as I entered into the workforce, I realized that it is the same in all areas. When you dress up for an event or for a person, it is not just a form of love, but a form of honor and respect to the person you are going to meet!

The effort you take to dress up and prepare for the meeting, shows how much you honor and respect the person and how much they mean to you! Many couples stop dressing up for each other after getting together. Try showing them how much they mean to you by doing your best to look best for them. You will be amazed by the results you will see! ;) Love can be rekindled!

I will stand with you!

CHC, i will stand with you!
In the past one month, i see the good and of course the bad. But i believe that the bad is just the lack of good. No one is stupid, just the lack of knowledge. Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge but yet, many people still chooses to embark on it. No matter whether you choose to stand, to deny or to come against, we choose LOVE!

Pastor Kong, Sun, Pastor Tan, John Lam, Eng han, Sharon and CHC!
I will stand with you, always be for you
Knowing that Jesus keeps us closer each day
If we must be apart, in my heart i will hold you
Brothers and sisters keeping the FAITH!

My Voice of Stand

I'm sure all over the world have heard about the City Harvest Church Singapore news that broke out last Tuesday. This is my view to the matter.

According to the charity code of government, there must be 100% transparency of how money are used to the executive members of the church, meaning members with the voting rights. CHC have actually not only been 100% transparent to the executive members, in fact they even voted for the project and how the money should be used during their agm in 2008, subsequently in 2009 and reinforced in 2010 after the first time this saga broke out. The fact is, CHC even post up their financial statement on their website yearly, after the external audit is done. However, the media is saying that the members of the public, which should be referring to the executive members, were not informed of what the money is being used for, therefore is a fraud. They did not objectively interview only executive members to find out the truth but have been interviewing people who happen not to know about what was going on or may not even be an executive member and blow up the matter.

This reminds me of the yearly speech by our prime minister on national day. Played on all locate channels and even translated in different languages and even played back on various timings. However, honestly there are still many who doesn't watch or listen to the speech. If questioning the members of public and found that they did not know about how the government are using the tax payer's money for, does not conclude that our government have not been transparent with the use of our money. In fact, honestly i think I really don't know how the government uses the tax payer's money. So if all who contributed have the right to know all the breakdown for the money used then I would be quite interested to know how are all our taxes being used too!

Then the question is, how transparent should transparent be? How accountable is being accountable enough? To what extend is an information suppose to be passed out to 'everyone' to establish the same understanding and not have any wrong idea of what it means? Should 'everyone' in the country or in the 'world' be informed or is the executive members of the organization good enough? Is there a need to let 'everyone' know and have an opinion over what they are doing or planning to do? Should all organization be taking in people's opinion all the time? Is there a possibility to come out with something that pleases 'everyone'? Is there any organization that does not face any oppositions from 'anyone'? 

There's always 2 sides to a story, no just true or false but we need to know that all truth are mixed with human emotions and personal perspective. If you are not for it, basically you are against it! You can say that you are very neutral but really, there is no neutral stand. Deep down inside, it is either you are for this or against this. If you are against, no matter how neutral you say you are, you tend to take in all the negative reports.

I advise that the media should not continue to blow the matter out of proportion and leave the judgement to the judge and juries. I pray they will see the truth and I believe that the just will stand! Websites like sammyboy.com, singaporedaily.net, sglinks.com, mememaker.net etc should be charged for cyberbully! Using presumptuous words and images causing others to have a wrong and wayward view of a matter. They should be seriously warned of the offense and if they do not take down offensive contend, they can be sued or even shut down. If the government allow these sites to continue, then they are sending out a wrong signal to the people that the use of cyberbully is ok. I'm looking forward to see what the government is going to do about this, with all said and done.

What is wrong with Sun? Is she 'judged' just because she is a pastor's wife? But if the husband is fine and the church is fine, then who are the 'outsiders' to judge? It's just like in a family, you want to do something and your parents are fine, then you got some random aunties coming to your house and murmuring about all that you are doing, gossiping among themselves, this and that. HAHA! Does it stop you from doing what you want? NO! So why should anyone try to stop others from what they are doing? The crossover project is a project of the church and 'outsiders' will never understand why they are doing what they are doing because the 'outsiders' are not them! In fact, i think the crossover is completely cool and i see that peoples' lives are changed, families are transformed and all the humanitarian works done are not 'broadcasted' so that the 'outsiders' will know!

I think Sun is pretty; she is hot and she can really sings well! Most importantly she touch lives by being out there in the different disaster areas to help, build schools and orphanages! In fact, all she has done in these humanitarian works and missions are my inspiration to start 'Shop a Cause', to donate out all my items and do something really meaningful to help others!

Lastly, judge not that you will not be judge but with the same measure you judged, you will be judged. Judgement belongs to the Lord!