Courtesy? #2 - Hoarding

This word "Hoarding" is a big word... It started with describing the human behavioural of hoarding food or natural supplies that they think will soon be in shortage.

And then it became a behavioural where everything is "MINE"... in this word "hoarding" there is no courtesy or sharing...

So how is this word being constantly seen in society nowadays? instead of just supplies....

Children at childcare centre hoarding all the toys and not allowing other children to play or touch those toys. Some parents even blame the school for not educating their children. But really, where are the kind of things taught at home? I believe that home is our first learning centre.

Then the very common and often seen in our daily life are people hoarding seats. The purpose of my post is not to embarrass anyone. Hence, I chose photos where faces are not revealed so that no one is put to shame.

This seat hoarding situation did not only limit to MRT but also cafes and eating places. Photos cannot be posted because faces are too close up and easily identified.

I'm sure many of us have faced frustrated situations, looking for seats at cafes or eating places. Waiting for people to finish their chit chatting, studying, 1 person taking 4 person's seats etc... all these happening during the peak hours. I understand that some times you are looking for places to study, hang out with friends etc and needed a place. I can totally understand this, because i do hang out at cafes and just relax, enjoying the ambience etc too.

I am referring to eating places where big crowds of people are standing around waiting. An act of courtesy or kindness would be, to share your table if you are alone or only taking up 2 out of 4 of the seats. :) i'm sure the people won't mind and will be really appreciative :)

Once i was at Soupspoon located at Bugis. it was peak hours at around 6.30pm where hungry people are hunting for food to fill their stomach after a long day of work. While many people are standing around looking for seats in the Soupspoon, i noticed a 4 seater table with some books and a school bag but no one was there. I waited for awhile to see if the person is ordering food etc. After 10-mins, the person still did not show up at the seat. So my friend and i decided to  sit at half of the table and leaving her things at the other half, to just have our meal.

We sat there and ate quickly as there were many other people waiting for a table. After close to an hour since we entered the shop, when we were about to finish and leave. The lady whom the books and bag belongs to came back and started to make a big fuss, raising her voice. She made a scene about us sitting on her seat and that she had placed her things there to show that the table is taken. Its obvious that she is not eating and neither is she really present at the seat because it was an hour since i saw her.

After making a huge commotion in the eatery, people around are feeling uncomfortable in the unpleasant situation, we realised that the boyfriend is one of the staff working. And she started scolding the boyfriend and embarrassing my friend and i publicly. It was a really awful experience.

Let's be people who are kind and passionate towards fellow humans. Sharing tables, giving up seats that you do not need or even to make an effort to finish up faster, can really help brighten someone's day. Caring and sharing is the opposite of hoarding. Some things may be OURS, but i think we can be kind to share it with someone in need.

Of course, the most important and easiest expression of courtesy is a smile. A smile can go a very long way and it can be passed on from one person to another :)

Courtesy? #1 - Reserved seats

Courtesy is a voluntary act of goodwill towards one another.

This is a "Reserved seat" sign implemented in Singapore a few years back. Has it made Singapore a better place since?

Let's start by talking about how things used to be like, before this sign came about. In the past, anyone could sit on any seat in the train. If an elderly or someone who need the seat more enters the train, people can choose to, or not to, give up their seats for them. This is an act of courtesy and goodwill. Though the risk that no one will stand up and offer up their seats remains.

After this sign was introduced, the often scenario is this, everyone rushes to the seats around. Sometimes pushing their way through when there are greater crowd. Not letting the people alight first, just so that they can get to the empty seats that are not with the reserved seat signs. These reserved seats are located on both sides of every entrance.

When all the other seats are filled, people reluctantly sit on those reserved seats, as they do not want to be the one expected to give up their seats or to be 'judged' by others. When someone who need the seats more enters the train, the first reaction is for everyone to be staring at the person on the reserved seat. It is like an eye-signaling to the person that they should be the one who give up their seat. In the event if they do not, people will stare at them and give unpleasant look like it was an obligation that they should have done so. Some times I see people who sit on the reserved seat and pretend to be soundly asleep.

While on the other hand, there are some older people who got offended and felt insulted when the priority seats are offered to them. Some lady who are a little bigger sized, mistaken to be pregnant and are offended by the kind gesture of giving up the seat to them. How do we gauge when to, and when not to offer up our seats?

Then I have witness this 3rd kind of situations where it is the other way round. The people who need the seat more, entered the train and demands their way. Personally it happened to me once. I was on the reserved seat as I have looked around and see that no one else is in need of the seat. An elderly uncle entered the train and immediately, he slammed the glass panel beside me and raised his voice shouting "EXCUSE ME!" And gestured for me to get out of my seat. I was shocked and hastily stood up that he could have the seat. But I guess I would have willingly and gladly stood up for him if I saw him entering the train?

A while back I was on a bus. Reserved seating are less obvious and noticable on buses as they are indicated by the color of the seat, and people are often less aware. This bus is a very crowded bus and often it will be so packed that it has to turn people away due to its full capacity. So it is no doubt that someone is definitely sitting on the reserved seats. An elderly man boarded the bus and at the instant he set foot on the bus, he shouted loudly at the lady on the reserved seat. "HEY YOU DONT KNOW THIS IS A RESERVED SEAT AR? YOU STILL DARE TO SIT! GET UP LA!" The lady was dumbfounded and embarrassed by the situation. She made her way out quickly, but the man did not stop scolding her with unpleasant words, till he sat down.

Has this "Reserved seat" sign made us better people? Or worse? Are the priorities given a privilege or prestige? How is this helping if people of greater needs are putting those who are sitting on these priority seats, in display of public embarrassment? Is this about courtesy or an obligation?

Should we then simply leave all the "Reserved seats" empty? Is it going to solve the problem? Who determines who need a seat more than another? If the reserved seat is already taken by elderly and a pregnant lady enters, how then can anyone say who deserve the seat more? Or another elderly enter, are they suppose to compare to see who is older, to determine who gets the seat?

We should move towards building our character and values of courtesy, than just the priority seating. There are so much more in the areas we can build and develop courtesy. While this seating issue is just 1 out of the many, of course, being the most common around us.